Is it possible to change your reality?
What is reality, anyway?
Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a bad mood, everything around you seems to be negative?
The people, the weather, even the traffic – it all seems to be conspiring against you.
But on the other hand, when you’re feeling great, everything around you seems to be positive and full of possibilities.
This is because, as Tony Robbins would say:
“Focus is feeling.”
But what does that mean?
It means that what we focus on determines how we feel.
There are 4 main ingredients that make up this mental power, and they are critical to your success:
- Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and control your own emotions, as well as understand and empathize with the emotions of others.
It is the overarching concept that encompasses the other three.
One of the first key components of emotional intelligence is perspective.
Your perspective shapes how you see and interpret the world around you, and it has a significant impact on your emotional state.
Therefore, if you can control your perspective, you can control how you react to the uncontrollable external forces around you.
Let’s say you’re working on a project, and things aren’t going as planned.
What can you do?
On the other hand, you can take the perspective that it is an opportunity to learn and grow, and use it as a stepping stone to success.
On one hand, you can take the perspective that this is a failure, get angry, and beat yourself up over it.
The power of perspective lies in the fact that you have control over it,
While simultaneously accepting that you have no control over external circumstances.
Perspective allows you to choose how you see and interpret situations, which has a profound impact on your emotional state.
By choosing a perspective that is positive and growth-oriented, you can transform setbacks into opportunities for success.
It’s a conscious choice that, like anything, you get better at with practice.
Do you see life as happening to you,
Or do you see life as happening for you?
The second key component of emotional intelligence is mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a practice that allows you to pause and observe your thoughts with curiosity, which in turn allows you to control your emotions.
This means being able to regulate your emotional state, so that you don’t get overwhelmed or react impulsively.
Let’s say you receive a negative comment on one of your blog posts or TikTok videos.
What do you do? How do you respond?
Your initial emotional response might be to feel hurt or angry.
But by practicing emotional regulation through mindfulness, it allows you to take a step back and objectively ask yourself questions:
Why did this person feel the need to go out of their way to be negative?
Misery loves company, and we often project our own problems onto other people.
They’re probably dealing with negativity in their own life, and simply projecting that negativity on to you.
Therefore, perhaps they need to be met with empathy rather than anger or aggression.
Do I know this person, or is this some random stranger out in the interwebs?
Chances are, they’re some random stranger.
In the grand scheme of things, does their opinion or input really mean anything?
SallyPants237 doesn’t know you. (shoutout to GaryVee for the reference)
They don’t know your life, or your story, or your experiences.
So why give them any power over your emotional state of being?
As Eleanor Roosevelt said:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
You have to give someone the power to affect you in order for them to have the power to affect you.
Once you can zoom out and objectively look at any given situation from a big picture perspective, it allows you to respond in a more constructive and beneficial way.
And this is a power you can cultivate.
Now don’t get me wrong…
This doesn’t mean nothing ever negatively affects you, or that you’re never bothered by anything.
We’re not perfect; we’re human.
What it means is that you control how long these things affect you before consciously taking that mental step back.
It’s not about being perfect and emotionally impenetrable…
It’s about minimizing the time between immediate subconscious emotional reaction, and conscious emotional control.
It’s about being present in the moment, and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of your emotional state, and learn to control it.
Last, but certainly not least, comes mindset:
The attitudes and beliefs that shape how you see yourself and the world around you.
One of the most important mindset shifts you can make is moving from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset.
A scarcity mindset is characterized by a belief that there is not enough to go around, and that success is limited.
An abundance mindset, on the other hand, is characterized by a belief that there is more than enough to go around, and that success is available to anyone who is willing to work for it.
When you believe that success is available to you, you are more likely to take risks, work hard, and persist in the face of setbacks.
On the other hand, when you believe that success is limited, you are more likely to give up when things get tough.
Which mindset do you have?
If you find yourself living on the side of a scarcity mindset… have no fear!
This can be changed.
In the world of psychology, there is a concept known as The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.
Also known as frequency illusion, frequency bias, or the “red car syndrome,” this concept refers to the phenomenon where you suddenly start noticing things that you previously ignored or overlooked.
For example, have you ever noticed that when you buy a new car, suddenly you start seeing that same car everywhere!?
This is because, according to the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, our subconscious mind is constantly scanning our environment for things that are relevant to us.
So before you bought the new car, that car was irrelevant to you.
But after you bought the new car, suddenly that specific car became relevant to your subconscious, and therefore your subconscious started actively seeking it out.
This exact same concept can be strategically used in pursuit of your goals!
When we begin to focus on positivity, abundance and success, we also begin training our subconscious mind to start looking for opportunities that align with those goals.
By contrast, when we focus on negativity and scarcity, our subconscious mind constantly looks for evidence that supports those beliefs, thus determining what you regularly see.
So how can we focus on positivity and success, and train our subconscious mind to notice opportunities that align with our goals?
- Practice gratitude.
Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting your perspective and focusing on the positive. Each day, take a few minutes to reflect on what you’re grateful for by writing down 3 to 5 things on a piece of paper or in a journal.
They can be anything and everything, from the most important aspects of your life to the smallest and least significant.
I personally use this positivity and mindset journal I got off Amazon that has daily prompts to fill out which includes a portion for daily gratitude reflection.
- Set goals.
Having clear goals can help you focus your energy and attention on what’s most important. As I covered in one of my previous articles, You Can’t Improve What You Can’t See, you want to make sure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound (SMART).
- Visualize success.
Visualization involves imagining yourself achieving your goals, and experiencing the feelings of success and accomplishment. This can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals.
As John Assaraf points out, by regularly envisioning the desired outcome and imagining yourself successfully performing new habits, you create neural pathways that support those behaviors.
Visualization helps prime the brain for success, making it more likely that you will adopt and maintain the desired habits.
- Surround yourself with positivity.
Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you, and consume content that is positive and empowering. Cut out negative people and content that don’t align with your values and contribute to your goals.
Some of my favorite inspirational, motivation, and creative entrepreneurship YouTube Channels and content creators include:
– Gary Vaynerchuk’s GaryVee
– Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO
– Lewis Howes’ School of Greatness
– Tom Bilyeu’s Impact Theory
– Ed Mylett’s The Ed Mylett Show
– Dan Koe’s Dan Koe Talks
– Simon Sinek’s Simon Says
– Andrew Kirby’s Synthesizer Skool
You can also check out communities like our Be More Mastermind Group to connect with fellow like-minded people.
- Practice self-care.
Self-care is any intentional activity that you do to take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you feel more balanced and resilient, which in turn can help you stay focused on pursuing and achieving your goals.
These can include things like journaling and self-reflection, healthy eating, working out and regular exercise, meditation, getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, practicing mindfulness, connecting with others, engaging in hobbies, and even taking breaks.
Never forget that rest is just as important as action. You need both.
As Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, and many other successful entrepreneurs have all emphasized in their work…
Success is a mindset.
By adopting a growth-oriented mindset and focusing on the positive, you can overcome any obstacle and achieve your goals.
So take a deep breath, focus on what you want, and take action towards creating the life of your dreams.
The power is within you.
If you want to change your reality, change your perception of it by forcing your subconscious to do it for you.
Check out this incredibly inspiring interview with one of the world’s most-requested motivational speakers, Lisa Nichols, who went from struggling single mom on public assistance to successful multi-millionaire entrepreneur.
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In full transparency, not all, but some of the links you find throughout my emails will be affiliate links, which means if you end up making a purchase using one of my affiliate links, I will get paid a small commission.